Give Me Strength
by RainySunnyEnding
Summary: **Happy birthday, paddyofurniture! This story is for you. I hope you enjoy it, soul sister. I love you.** Life has never been an easy ride for Blaine, but what will happen when his best friend's cousin transfers to McKinley? And when will the world stop shouting at him? And why is the new boy avoiding him? Eventual Klaine. Weekly Thursday uploads. Short chapters. Deaf fic
1. Chapter 1

**Happy birthday paddyofurniture :D This whole story is dedicated to you. The chapters will be short, but I can promise them weekly. I love you.**

**I also love all of my readers. There is a twist to this story. See if you can guess what it is and maybe send me a PM or a review or a tweet.**

* * *

I woke up, stretched, saw the sun streaming in the window. A steaming mug of coffee sat on my bedside table which I accepted gratefully, letting the warm, energising liquid filter down my throat. This was how my best days began.

Others would start with the overpowering smell of alcohol, seeing my brother slumped, half naked, in his bed. This was rare though. Cooper rarely came home to visit us any more. He told me it was because work was keeping him busy. I knew it was because he couldn't cope with me. After all, that was why dad left, before he grew the balls to return.

Coffee drunk, I returned it to my bedside table and sat up, throwing the covers off me. I stretched, feeling my bones click, and stood from the bed. I went into the bathroom quickly before heading downstairs.

"Hi mum." She was eating her breakfast in the kitchen and waved when she saw me.

"Is that porridge for me?" I asked, pointing to the bowl and spoon sat opposite her.

She nodded and I sat down, tucking into my first meal of the day. There was strawberry jam swirled into it, just how I liked it. As I ate, mum studied the paper, occasionally showing me an article I might find interesting.

By the time I'd finished eating, my dad had made his way downstairs. He had a quick conversation with mum and, by the way he made a point of turning his back to me, I could tell I was their topic of choice. I was used to that.

I decided to leave them in peace and put my bowl in the sink, giving mum a quick hug from behind before heading back upstairs.

I made short work of getting changed into something I deemed suitable for that hellhole they called school and hastily brushed my teeth. I still had half an hour left until we had to leave so I sat down at my computer and did some work, interspersed by short games of Pinball and Minesweeper.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! This is the second chapter of GMS. I hope you enjoy it.**

**This story, as previously mentioned, is dedicated to the incredible paddyofurniture. It is six months to the day that we 'met'. And one day that will be in person.**

**To everyone, please enjoy. With enough response to this (in the form of follows, favourites, views and reviews) I'll start uploading twice weekly.  
**

* * *

_**Previously**_

_I made short work of getting changed into something I deemed suitable for that hellhole they called school and hastily brushed my teeth. I still had half an hour left until we had to leave so I sat down at my computer and did some work, interspersed by short games of Pinball and Minesweeper._

* * *

Mum poked her head around the door and I stood, turning the computer off. I grabbed my bag from the bed and flung it over my shoulder before heading out of the door behind her.

The car ride was pretty uneventful. There was nothing new outside the windows, no couples canoodling on the street, no puppies bouncing in energetic rings around their tired owners. Mum turned the radio on but I wasn't feeling it today so she turned it off again. We arrived at school not long afterwards anyway.

I waved goodbye to her as she drove off. I looked around and spied Finn so I ran to catch up with him. He gave me his customary nod in greeting and then returned to the bag of crisps that he was in the middle of an intimate relationship with. I tutted at him and he looked up, grinning. With a hand in the bag of crisps he was unable to reply, but I hoped I knew him well enough to know that he was thinking "what? I'm hungry!"

I waited patiently as he finished the bag and threw the empty packet in the nearest bin. By this point we had reached the school doors and he held them open for me.

"Thanks Finn. I'm sure I could have done that for myself." He shrugged. "So what's going on today?"

He waited until we were standing next to my locker to reply. "_My cousin came over. It turns out he's living with us now after his dad died. He is here today; he is with Principal Figgins at the minute._"

"Oh. You never told me this."

"_It all happened at the weekend. It was very unexpected._"

"What is he called?"

"Kurt_._" I tilted my head to one side. "_K-U-R-T._"

I nodded slowly. "Where is he?"

Finn was about to reply but then he obviously changed his mind as he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Instead he just pointed.

I turned around and looked in the vague direction of his finger. I thought he must be joking as I couldn't see anyone new. But then I saw someone I didn't recognise; someone who was now making his way over to where we were stood. Kurt.


	3. Chapter 3

**Previously**

_I nodded slowly. "Where is he?"_

_Finn was about to reply but then he obviously changed his mind as he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Instead he just pointed._

_I turned around and looked in the vague direction of his finger. I thought he must be joking as I couldn't see anyone new. But then I saw someone I didn't recognise; someone who was now making his way over to where we were stood. Kurt._

* * *

Kurt said something to his cousin which I couldn't make out and then Finn said something back. I knew what he was telling him, I didn't have to guess. It didn't feel fair that it was the first thing that everybody knew about me. Everybody else got to hide their secrets; why couldn't I?

Nevertheless, I was strangely touched when Kurt turned to me and attempted to tell me his name. He was trying; most people wouldn't. I laughed and corrected him. He nodded and tried again.

"Perfect."

He seemed to jump slightly as I spoke.

"What, didn't think I could speak?" I was slightly hurt, but used to it.

Kurt shook his head vehemently. He tried to say something but then gave up and turned to his cousin.

Finn nodded and turned to me. "_He said he thinks you have a really nice voice._"

I looked back at Kurt to see him looking at the floor, face flushed red with embarrassment. I wanted to put him at ease with a hug, to tell him that I didn't mind, but more than that that I was flattered. But we had only just met. I settled for just saying "thanks", to which he looked up with a flickering smile on his soft features.

The confidence and desire for approval had gone and he was left a mere shell of what he was. He was a nervous boy, lost in a new life, one he had to start without his father. And I wanted to do nothing more than to help him.

There was one thing about me that, whether I liked it or not, everybody knew about me. There was another that nobody knew. And up until now I was going to keep it that way forever. Up until now. Now... I wasn't so sure. What had changed?

I met Kurt.


	4. Chapter 4

**Previously**

_There was one thing about me that, whether I liked it or not, everybody knew about me. There was another that nobody knew. And up until now I was going to keep it that way forever. Up until now. Now... I wasn't so sure. What had changed?_

_ I met Kurt._

* * *

"_The bell went. We need to go._"

Finn turned to his cousin and asked him something. Kurt dove into the bag on his shoulder and pulled out a timetable, showing it to Finn. I presumed they were comparing lessons. Finn glanced at me and so I got mine out too.

As I looked around Finn to see Kurt's timetable, I squealed, and the new boy jumped. He raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow in a query.

"You're in my form group. And French and music and literature."

"_You music?_"

I nodded, ignoring his mistake. "Yes, I take music."

Finn tapped my arm and motioned to my wrist, implying it was time to go. I nodded. He patted Kurt on the arm and gave me a thumbs-up before disappearing down the corridor.

"_Where are we going?_"

The halls were still crowded and so I decided on the safest option to avoid us getting separated. In hindsight, it wasn't very safe at all, but luckily I saw no sign of Dave Karofsky and his gang that morning.

As I closed my hand around Kurt's I felt him jump. I looked at him and smiled and he smiled. Then I set off at a jog down the hallway, pulling Kurt with me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I love this story too much. I've decided to start uploading it twice weekly (Thursdays and now Sundays). I hope this can also make up in some small way for the current lack of T&C, which, by the way, I am making really good progress on.  
**

**As always, I love you paddyofurniture.  
**

* * *

**Previously**

_The halls were still crowded and so I decided on the safest option to avoid us getting separated. In hindsight, it wasn't very safe at all, but luckily I saw no sign of Dave Karofsky and his gang that morning._

_ As I closed my hand around Kurt's I felt him jump. I looked at him and smiled and he smiled. Then I set off at a jog down the hallway, pulling Kurt with me._

* * *

As we neared the classroom I slowed to a walk but didn't think to drop the hand that fitted so perfectly in mine. It was like it was made for me. No, Blaine, shut up. Those sorts of thoughts are enough to get you killed around here. I dropped his hand before turning the final corner.

I stepped into the classroom, motioning for Kurt to follow. Luckily the class hadn't started yet so I could go up to Mr Schuester without too much disruption.

"Sir?"

He looked up and smiled when he saw the boy standing next to me. He talked to him, getting to know him, I presumed. Then his eyes roamed around the classroom as if searching for someone for Kurt to sit next to. He seemed to remember something and then asked a question which had Kurt nodding vigorously in response.

I had no idea what was going on. I had to turn to Kurt with a query written upon my eyebrows. He had to try his best to respond to me.

"_Me sit you._"

I laughed. "Okay." I walked up the aisle between the desks to mine at the back. It could be argued that it wasn't the wisest place for me to sit, but it got me away from everyone who was whispering about me. Even if I couldn't hear what they were saying, I still knew they were doing it. And it did hurt. But I was used to it.

I pulled out Kurt's chair for him before taking my own and sitting on it. I casually threw my bag under the desk. Now, time to daydream, as I had to make do with every form time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Previously**

_I pulled out Kurt's chair for him before taking my own and sitting on it. I casually threw my bag under the desk. Now, time to daydream, as I had to make do with every form time._

* * *

I noticed that Kurt had raised his hand to get Mr Schue's attention. The muscles in his arm were strong and as his arm was in the air, his shirt rode up a bit and I could see the tight muscles of his stomach. No, I can't think that. I can't do this.

I turned my attention to _why _Kurt had raised his hand. Mr Schue seemed to be smiling at him. He stood up and went to the cupboard and returned, to mine and Kurt's desk, with an exercise book.

Kurt took it and pulled a pen from his pocket. He opened the first page and started writing. He scribbled a couple of words and then turned the book towards me. I read it.

_Hi. How are you?_

I looked up at him and he was smiling, pen offered in my direction. I grinned as I took it.

_Yes, I am great. My mood seems to have bettered greatly since earlier. Can't think why though :P How are you?  
_  
_Confused. This school is so much bigger than my last one! Is it... is it me?  
_  
_Yes, of course it is you! Where did you live before?_

_Washington_

The book was passed back this time with a grimace. I was confused.

_What's wrong with Washington?  
_  
_They weren't exactly friendly to me back there_

His eyes, which had been so cheerful and full of life not a minute before were now pain-filled.

_Oh, Kurt. I am so sorry.  
_  
He shrugged as he read what I had written.

_What is the situation like here? Any chance of me finding and keeping a boyfriend?_

_Well there aren't any gay kids here, so..._

_Oh? Are you the only one?_


	7. Chapter 7

**I love you, paddy. This is a big chapter! Oh, and everyone else... of course... :)**

* * *

**Previously**

What is the situation like here? Any chance of me finding and keeping a boyfriend?

Well there aren't any gay kids here, so...

Oh? Are you the only one?

* * *

I spluttered as I read what he was writing over his shoulder. He looked up at me, face now full of concern.

_What's wrong?  
_  
I took a deep breath before writing. I could do this.

_Nobody knows.  
_  
Kurt looked at me and raised an eyebrow before grabbing the pen.

_Not even Finn?_

_Nobody._

_Right. And yet you ran down the corridor holding my hand?_

As soon as he had written it, Kurt seemed to regret it. He tried to fight the book back off me, face red, but I hit his hands away.

_Yes, I did. How come you knew?  
_  
Kurt raised an eyebrow mockingly.

_Oh, please. Give me SOME credit! I would like to hope my gaydar wasn't too out of it!_

_I... I am shocked. You've known me for, what? An hour?_

_About that. But I have known you for long enough to know that you're a kind-hearted person._

_You think so?_

I was flattered and smiled at Kurt as I passed the book back. He seemed to hesitate before setting pen to paper again.

_Do you want to go out with me?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Previously**

_I was flattered and smiled at Kurt as I passed the book back. He seemed to hesitate before setting pen to paper again._

Do you want to go out with me?

* * *

My mouth fell open and, before I could reply, I felt the chairs of everyone in the room slide back. The bell.

I looked at Kurt. He was busy packing up and swinging his bag over his shoulder, consulting his timetable to see where his first lesson was. His cheeks were bright red. And he didn't look at me again before he ran out of the room.

Fuck.

I got up too, grabbing my bag and pushing my chair under my desk. I was about to run towards the door when I saw the notebook still on the desk. Kurt's handwriting looked back at me. I picked it up, putting it in my bag. _Then _I ran out of the now empty classroom and fought to try and see Kurt.

I didn't just want to tell him my answer. I also wanted to make sure that he was okay with finding his class. I had History next, so I knew he didn't have that, at least. Other than that I was clueless. Perhaps he had something with Finn. I hoped he did.

I sighed and stuffed my hands deep into my pockets. And then fell over.

All around me, bodies stopped and turned towards me, pointing, laughing. And I was alone. Fallen, with no one to pull me back to my feet and into a hug. I wanted so desperately to have that warm body; holding my hand, stroking my hair, singing for me.

Yes, singing. And where was I going to find one of those? Anyone who might be able to sing would be so confused at the fact that I wanted them to. Why would I, of all people, want someone to sing?

I managed to pull myself to my feet and started towards my next lesson, keeping my head down.


	9. Chapter 9

**The timing of this really has worked perfectly! Here's to a wonderful seven months, K. I love you :)**

* * *

**Previously**

_All around me, bodies stopped and turned towards me, pointing, laughing. And I was alone. Fallen, with no one to pull me back to my feet and into a hug. I wanted so desperately to have that warm body; holding my hand, stroking my hair, singing for me._

_Yes, singing. And where was I going to find one of those? Anyone who might be able to sing would be so confused at the fact that I wanted them to. Why would I, of all people, want someone to sing?_

_I managed to pull myself to my feet and started towards my next lesson, keeping my head down._

* * *

History. The best subject known to man. Well, usually.

History was the one lesson that I never thought I'd be sat in watching the minute hand tick oh-so-slowly around the clock face. And why was I clockwatching? Because I was worried about Kurt. Concerned that he may have not found his next lesson okay. Anxious that he may be sitting alone in it. Fretful that he may have been stopped on the way. Nervous of a repeat of his time in Washington.

Maybe it was stupid, really, to be so on edge about a boy who I'd known for little longer than an hour. I mean, he was only a boy. Who happened to be the cousin of my best friend. And who happened to be the first person to know who I really am. And who happened to be extremely attractive. See? Just a boy.

So why was time passing so damn slowly?

Mr Keith was usually really good at getting me involved in the lessons. He had Mercedes Jones sitting next to me and she was quite good at condensing the useful information and passing it on quickly. And she always let me copy her notes up too. But she was away today, doctor's appointment or something. Not that I could care less. I couldn't've worked if I'd been forced to.

I stuck my hand up. Mr Keith nodded to me.

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

My teacher frowned, but nodded. I stood from my desk and took the pass he offered me, before leaving the room.

I had no idea where Kurt was. No clue whatsoever. But I was going to find him.


	10. Chapter 10

**I love you, padds. Happy Valentine's Day :)**

* * *

**Previously**

_"Can I go to the bathroom?"_

_My teacher frowned, but nodded. I stood from my desk and took the pass he offered me, before leaving the room._

_I had no idea where Kurt was. No clue whatsoever. But I was going to find him._

* * *

I walked down the corridors of the school, thankful that they were now empty. Usually I'd worry about missing lesson. Now, I was just worried about missing Kurt. I mean, what if all that I was worrying about happened? He can't be in a stable frame of mind; what if Karofsky and his gang found him? I had to find him. I knew that much. If that meant going through every classroom in the school, I'd find him.

So I went, from classroom door to classroom door, trying to spot him. I managed to find, after five minutes, Finn's class. My heart sped up as my eyes scanned the room. He must be here? But no. Kurt was nowhere to be seen.

I stepped away from the door and groaned. If he wasn't with Finn then he must be really lonely. Where was he?!

I span around in the corridor, now desperate. Where was he? Had he managed to find his lesson okay? Was anyone troubling him there? Was he okay? Where was he? I stopped spinning and crashed into the lockers, pounding my fists against them. I felt them rattle. But I couldn't stop.

Then I felt a hand at my shoulder. I span around.

Finn.

"_What are you doing?_"

I saw the worry in Finn's eyes. I didn't quite know what to say.

"Why are you out here?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "_I saw you looking in the classroom. Then I heard banging. Don't avoid the question._"

I sighed. "I'm worried about Kurt."

Finn frowned. "_Why?_"

"Because he left form before me. And there were loads of people about. And I wasn't able to catch up with him. So he had no idea where he was going and probably got lost somewhere and didn't make it to his next lesson and-"


	11. Chapter 11

**Previously**

_I sighed. "I'm worried about Kurt."_

_Finn frowned. "_Why?_"_

_"Because he left form before me. And there were loads of people about. And I wasn't able to catch up with him. So he had no idea where he was going and probably got lost somewhere and didn't make it to his next lesson and-"_

* * *

I felt a hand on each of my shoulders and jumped. Finn was staring at me, that look of concern for me present in his eyes. He removed his hands so that he could talk to me. "_Relax._"

I stared at him.

"_K-U-R-T is fine. I came to find him after form. He's in my class._"

"But he wasn't there."

"_He's gone to Miss P's office. To have a chat about everything. Introduce himself._"

I nodded, letting the information sink in. "He's okay."

"_He's fine._" Finn paused, squeezing his hands while thinking how to phrase what he was about to say. "_You seem close?_" His eyes were widened and head tilted in question.

I shrugged noncommittally. I glanced about. Nobody was about but this conversation would be a lot better if nobody could overhear. "_He's a great guy. And he's your cousin. Am I not meant to care about Eyes?_"

Finn stared at me. "_What did you just call him?_"

I licked my lips, nervous. "Eyes."

"_Eyes?_"

"_Eyes,_" I confirmed.

Finn nodded slowly. Then suddenly he raised his head and looked behind me. I saw his lips move. He nodded quickly then returned his eyes to me. "_I have to go. Can I trust you to get back to your lesson?_" I nodded. "_Then I'll see you at break._" I nodded again. "_I'll bring Eyes._"

I stuck my tongue out at him and walked away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Previously**

_"_I have to go. Can I trust you to get back to your lesson?_" I nodded. "_Then I'll see you at break._" I nodded again. "_I'll bring Eyes._"_

_I stuck my tongue out at him and walked away._

* * *

I went back to class, not bothering to see how long I'd been away for. I knew it had been ages. And as soon as I walked in the door, everyone stood up.

"Oh, please, take a seat," I joked. The majority of them rolled their eyes at me or swore or started talking to their friends. Why people still found the need to talk about me I had no idea. Was I really that intriguing?

I went to grab my bag from beneath my desk, stuffing my books in and leaving as quickly as I could. I don't think Mr Keith called after me. Then again, how would I know? Ha bloody ha.

The corridor was, once again, heaving. I really wasn't in the mood for it. But I battered my way through the crowds nonetheless. Past the bodies shooting me weird looks. Past the faces I knew of but would never bother getting to know me. Past-

I was shoved against the lockers, a strong hand against my chest. The face was pressed threateningly close to mine. I saw the lips move before they spat at me. Then the arms dropped me, the face laughing in scorn, before the body retreated with a swagger. And I was left there. Once again with nobody to help me up. To wipe the saliva from my face. To hold me until the hurt stopped hurting quite as much.

But instead I was left there. Alone. With people walking past me not even bothering to laugh at me.

I didn't want to move. It was safe there. Away from other people. Lonely. Which was better than the alternative.

I hugged my legs to my chest, buried my face out of sight, and cried.


	13. Chapter 13

**So, I made it! I may or may not have just given up on the homework...**

**Anyway, chapter 13. This can be read as a standalone. It explains what happened in Blaine's life that lead him to where we found him in chapter 1. And yes, most of you have guessed it by now; he's deaf.**

* * *

I was just five years old when I got mumps. Apparently. Obviously I was too young to remember, but I'm lead to believe it wasn't pretty. And when it went, I was left deaf. I can pick out the odd thing; it is rare to be completely deaf, like it is to be wholly blind, but it was enough to make my life a struggle. Suddenly I had to learn not one language but two. And that's when the bullying started.

I was never very big. Before I lost my hearing they used to call me Baby Blaine. Afterwards, I'm glad I couldn't hear the names they made up for me. Kids are cruel, and I learnt the hard way that they can be a lot crueler when you can't fight back. They'd tease me then gang up and push me to the ground. I'd come home to mum with grazed knees and a damaged heart. She'd sign '_sorry_' to me and then patch me up, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead when she was done. This continued for months.

I was six when my dad left. He got home one night late, banging the door so firmly that I could feel the vibrations through my bedroom floor. He shouted at mum. I know he shouted because Cooper looked up from his phone which he'd been texting a girl on for two hours and ruffled my hair like he always used to do when they argued. Before I lost my hearing. Only this time was worse. Cooper left the room and returned with a bloodied cheek. "Dad's gone," he said.

He slept in my bed that night, holding my head against his chest. It was useless; I couldn't hear his heart beating. But he kept me warm and feeling loved. I didn't know that I was the reason that my dad left.

I was seven when my dad came back. Cooper had forced me out of our room earlier in the evening. His face had been red and angry. I think he'd been shouting at me. He slammed the door in my face as I stood there, blinking. All I'd done was ask him who he was texting. It seemed a fair question; he was always on his phone. But he was getting increasingly irritated with me and then snapped. When I appeared downstairs, mum looked up from watching her television programme. Her hair was messy and greying prematurely. I did that to her. She took one look at me and walked past me, up the stairs and into mine and Cooper's bedroom. That was when my dad returned.

The front door pushed open but the first time I knew anyone was there was when I felt it close. I turned and saw him. His face was a lot older than it had been a year before. The first thing he did was release some tears and sign "_I'm so, so sorry_" to me. Mum ran downstairs, Cooper hot on her tail, and they both stopped still when they saw him. Then they ran into his arms whilst I watched.

I was eight when Cooper tried to leave home. He was sixteen. He said he could do anything he wanted, that he could leave home and never look back. And so when I got to my room one night, after a normal day at school receiving just the three locker shoves, I saw Cooper standing at his bed, throwing clothes into his bag. He looked at me as I walked in, rolled his eyes, and continued packing. I asked him what he was doing. If he replied, I didn't hear it. I went downstairs and talked to mum and my dad about it.

Mum left the room, I presumed to talk to Cooper, and returned back downstairs ten minutes later. He walked straight up to me and signed "_sorry_", capturing me in the biggest hug I've ever had from him. When he pulled away, my dad ruffled his hair, a sad look on his face. Cooper spoke to him. I was forgotten again.

I was nine when my dad and Cooper had their first proper fight. The floor shook and they were so loud that I could even pick up some words from where I was lying in bed. I didn't want to, so I stuffed my head underneath my pillow to muffle everything out; it felt like normal.

When I felt my bedroom door slam I lifted my head, the pillow dropping off. I looked at Cooper. He avoided my gaze. I spoke to him, asked him what was wrong, told him that I was there if he wanted me. Only then did he turn his steely eyes on me. He signed something which I had never seen before, but have been on the receiving end of many times since. Unlike his last fight with dad, he didn't have any cuts. But he cut my heart.

I was ten when Cooper graduated and, finally, moved out. That meant several things for me. For one, I didn't have to put up with his foul moods or his quick temper or his late night shouting matches with my dad. For another, it meant that I got my room to myself and didn't have to worry about keeping my schoolwork all on one desk. But on the other side, it meant I no longer had my brother living with me to hold me at night when I cried or to play silly games with.

However much Cooper had argued with me in the last few years of him living with us, I knew he still cared. The nights were a lot fewer and far between when we got on, but when we did he was always so apologetic about how he'd been treating me. He was the only brother I had and the only one I'd ever wanted. At the time I blamed his teenage hormones for his moods. Not anymore. Now I know the real reason: me.

A lot of stuff happened when I was eleven. Cooper got engaged, only for her to leave him a fortnight later. Mum lost her job and she had to start taking shifts at the supermarket. My dad went missing for a week and we had to call the police, only for it to turn out that he'd been at a mate's house to get away from the stress of living with me (the second part he didn't say aloud, but I worked it out). I started middle school, got my first friend since I lost my hearing, and new bunch of bullies. I also got my first crush. On a boy.

And I was sixteen, nearly seventeen, when I met Kurt.


	14. Chapter 14

**Previously**

_I was left there. Alone. With people walking past me not even bothering to laugh at me._

_I didn't want to move. It was safe there. Away from other people. Lonely. Which was better than the alternative._

_I hugged my legs to my chest, buried my face out of sight, and cried._

* * *

The hallways were empty by the time I finally uncurled from my safety cage. I picked myself up from off the floor, brushing my trousers down. I wiped Karofsky's saliva from my face with a grimace. I felt tears pushing the back of my eyes but refused to let them fall; not yet anyway.

I tugged my jacket around me protectively and picked up my bag, then stumbled to the nearest bathroom, the route thankfully being navigatable without having to walk in front of any open classroom doors. I pulled the door open roughly. Thankfully, there was no one inside. I dashed into the stall, locked the door behind me and let the tears fall.

Why were they so intent on picking on me? What was it that made me so detestable? What was it about me that meant that they felt justified in their actions?

I wished I had someone to talk to. When I moved to McKinley, I stopped telling mum about the abuse I was receiving. I had made her worry about me too much, and that wasn't fair. So I started cleaning up before coming home so that she wouldn't know. I hadn't talked to my dad about anything more than trivial since he left us. That wasn't about to stop. And Cooper had made it clear I wasn't to talk to him about my troubles after that night when dad left and he had his cut cheek. That left someone at the school. And what could they do?

I slid down the cubicle wall so that I could reach my bag and also feel the vibrations better if someone came in. I opened my bag and stuffed my hand in, rooting around for a tissue. My hand closed instead on a thin, blue book. I opened it carefully, taking care to not allow my tears to stain the page as I traced the writing with my finger.

_Do you want to go out with me?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Previously**

_I slid down the cubicle wall so that I could reach my bag and also feel the vibrations better if someone came in. I opened my bag and stuffed my hand in, rooting around for a tissue. My hand closed instead on a thin, blue book. I opened it carefully, taking care to not allow my tears to stain the page as I traced the writing with my finger._

Do you want to go out with me?

* * *

When my band vibrated at the end of what would have been maths (someone please remind me why I took that subject?), I didn't want to move. I was safe there, in my own little world away from the people that could hurt me. I wanted to never leave that. I looked at the notebook that was still in my hands.

I wanted to find Kurt.

I stood and repacked my bag, careful not to start crying again for if someone came in. I brushed my eyes one further time with my tissue and them scrunched it up in my trouser pocket.

I left the cubicle.

Luckily there was no one else in the loos yet, so I managed to make it out into the corridor safely. I kept to the sides, near the endless rows of lockers, to keep out of the way of any of the hands that would be tempted to push and wound. I was already wounded enough. Now, I just wanted to find Kurt. And Finn, obviously. Yeah, I wanted to find Finn. I wanted to find my friends and sit with them and make everything alright again. Even if they couldn't mutter things to make me more confident.

And so, as I entered the dining hall I was already feeling better. Yeah, I was bullied. And it hurt. But I was used to it. And I had Finn and... and _Kurt_... to help me through it.

I spotted the table that Finn and I always took. I saw Finn. And I saw five empty chairs.

Kurt wasn't there.


	16. Chapter 16

**Previously**

_I spotted the table that Finn and I always took. I saw Finn. And I saw five empty chairs._

_Kurt wasn't there._

* * *

I walked over to our table. "Where's Kurt?"

Finn grinned. "_Hi Finn, how were your lessons, did you have a good morning? Well yes thank you, I did._"

I glared at him. "Sarcasm doesn't translate well to sign, Finn."

His smile dropped. "_What happened?_"

I sighed and flopped on to the chair opposite him, dropping my bag on the table between us. "Answer my question first?" Finn shook his head. "Fine. I skipped last lesson because Karofsky cornered me whilst walking from History and spat on my face and I've just spent the last hour in the toilets. Now, where's Kurt?"

I had dropped my gaze to Finn's hands when I'd started talking so that I couldn't see his reaction. When his hands made no move to say anything, I was forced to look at his face. His eyes were stretched wide and his mouth hung open. Well, I had said I wanted to tell someone.

"Say something?" I begged.

He brought his hands up shakily. "_Eyes said he's going to walk around school on his own to get used to it._"

I nodded. "Thank you."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Well, we always sat in silence. But this time he made no move to talk to me. All I could see were his pity filled eyes dazing at me from across the table. At lunch he had football. I knew he was now scared of leaving me alone. Suddenly, I remembered why I'd kept my bully problem quiet.

"Please don't tell anyone?" I prompted.

He stared at me.

"No, Finn, I mean it. In fact, just forget about it. That would be easier. I've put up with it for years. And it's not that bad."

He raised an eyebrow. And still said nothing.

Shit.


	17. Chapter 17

**Eight months ago today I received a review which changed my life. I love you, paddy :)**

* * *

**Previously**

_He stared at me._

_"No, Finn, I mean it. In fact, just forget about it. That would be easier. I've put up with it for years. And it's not that bad."_

_He raised an eyebrow. And still said nothing._

_Shit._

* * *

The rest of break was more awkward than we'd ever been. Finn's eyes were constantly on me as mine stares holes into the table. Then the ground shifted and my band vibrated. Lessons.

"What has Kurt got now?"

Finn didn't make any sarcastic jokes, and I was glad of that. I think he thought I was protecting him from any of the bullies who might be after me, or wanting some form of protection from them.

"_Music. Double. With you_?" He tilted his head to one side and raised his eyebrows to let me know it was a question.

I nodded.

I tried not to show how happy I was at being able to see him again.

We stood from the table and I grabbed my bag. Finn threw his own lazily over his shoulder and then walked around the table as I was struggling with untwisting the strap on mine. I felt his hands on my shoulders and flinched away. "Get off me, Finn!"

I sorted the strap out and turned around to see his face deflated. "_I was trying to help_," he signed.

I sighed. "I'm not a baby, Finn." I turned away from him. "I'll see you later."

I walked out of the canteen and down the hall. I winced as someone ran past me and scuttled to the walls, were the rows of lockers stood. As I stepped around a couple engaged in a tight lip lock, I casually wondered if Kurt had been designated a locker yet. My eyes bulged and my steps faltered. Did I really think that?

I rounded the corner. The music room was at the end of this corridor. It wasn't long until I'd be in the safety of a classroom again, where only bored glares and unheard whispers could hurt me.

But I stopped walking as a beautiful man with perfectly coiffed hair and perfect cheekbones rounded the corner from the other end of the corridor and disappeared into the room.


	18. Chapter 18

**Previously**

_I rounded the corner. The music room was at the end of this corridor. It wasn't long until I'd be in the safety of a classroom again, where only bored glares and unheard whispers could hurt me._

_But I stopped walking as a beautiful man with perfectly coiffed hair and perfect cheekbones rounded the corner from the other end of the corridor and disappeared into the room._

* * *

When I finally regained control of my feet, I made them walk down the corridor to the room at the end. Every thump of my feet equated to a thump of my heart. I was going to see Kurt again. As soon as I got into that class, I was going to be able to see him, to talk to him. To answer him.

My heart caught in my throat as I made the final step before the doorframe. Then I rounded it and saw Kurt talking to Ms Jones.

From where I stood behind him, I could see his arms folded protectively over his middle. I felt my heart leap out of my chest to meet him. He really was expecting a backlash from the students here. Because he was gay.

On the one hand, it surprised me that he was so scared of being bullied for his sexuality. On the other, I knew all along that it made you a target. After all, I had known who I was for years. I'd not even come out to Finn.

But strength in numbers, yeah? Yeah?

I swallowed, and then approached my new friend. "Hi."

He seemed to jump slightly as he turned his head sharply to take me in. Then he turned back to his conversation with Ms Jones, a flash of... _something_ passing his features. What was it?

I moved past him, deciding to sit and my desk and wait for him to come to me. After all, who else would he sit next to? There were very few people sitting by themselves; just me and-

I saw Kurt turn, deliberately avoiding my gaze as he took the chair next to Rachel Berry.


	19. Chapter 19

**Happy St Paddy's Day :)**

* * *

**Previously**

_I moved past him, deciding to sit and my desk and wait for him to come to me. After all, who else would he sit next to? There were very few people sitting by themselves; just me and-_

_I saw Kurt turn, deliberately avoiding my gaze as he took the chair next to Rachel Berry._

* * *

I stared at the back of Kurt's head, disbelieving of what had just happened. Surely Ms Jones hadn't known that we knew each other. Yes, that must have been it. But I spoke to him as I came into the classroom... No, she must have wanted someone to sit next to the Diva in order to shut her up. After all, even I could sometimes hear her. I turned my gaze to the front of the room. Yes, that was it. Poor Kurt.

I heard snatches of a high-pitched squeal and winced. If that, presumably with background noise, had been in my hearing range, I dreaded to think how loud that must have been for everyone else. Yes, Ms Berry was rather well-known for her excitable nature.

I turned back to Kurt. Rachel was clapping excitedly, eyes bright. She was moving about animatedly, clearly very enthusiastic about something. I watched as one of her hands rested intrusively on Kurt's arm, leaning close to him to speak quickly about something. But from what I could see from the back of Kurt, he was excited about their topic of conversation too. I wished that I could make Kurt look that happy.

Yes, we'd only known each other for a few hours, but he was the first person who had actually known who I was after a couple of minutes of conversation. He knew who I was and accepted me; gay, deaf and all. There was nobody else I could say that about. True, there was nobody else who knew that much about me. But they might if I continued to gaze at Kurt and death stare at Rachel.

I dragged my eyes away just in time to see Ms Jones smiling at the pair.


	20. Chapter 20

**Previously**

_I dragged my eyes away just in time to see Ms Jones smiling at the pair._

* * *

During the lesson I stared at the board as words appeared on it. I was often asked, albeit by the wrong sorts of people, why I took music. I could never get them to understand the thrill I felt when a certain texture of vibration filled the air, or that when my hands stroked the ivories it never felt more right. I couldn't tell them that I had loved to sing, once, and now loved nothing better than to play three styles of music and once and feel their similarities wash over me. I loved music, and although I couldn't hear it, it was preposterous to think that I could live it.

But what I now couldn't stand was the thought that Kurt was so close, and yet still so far away. I watched him talk to Rachel Berry and enjoying himself and was scared that he'd suddenly prefer her company to mine. It was silly that I'd known him for such a short time but felt such a... connection to him.

Was it weird that I was afraid of losing what I'd never had?

I blinked. When had I ever _had_ Kurt? I looked back at my book, realising that my gaze had once again been distracted, and scribbled away. I had no Mercedes Jones in this lesson pick things up when I couldn't pick them out.

But however long the lesson was, it could never be long enough. It was a double which felt like a half when it ended and Kurt stood up, shocking me into realising that I should too. And maybe I should stop staring at Kurt. That might be a good idea too.

I hurried to put my books into my bag, eager to sit with Kurt at lunch and talk. Well, maybe sign. Or write. They could be more private that way.

But as I was about to approach him and take him to the canteen, Rachel Berry held her arm out for him and he hooked his arm in hers, letting her lead him out of the room and down the corridor.

I was left alone in the classroom with a shocked face and a stabbing sensation at my heart.


	21. Chapter 21

**Previously**

_As I was about to approach him and take him to the canteen, Rachel Berry held her arm out for him and he hooked his arm in hers, letting her lead him out of the room and down the corridor._

_I was left alone in the classroom with a shocked face and a stabbing sensation at my heart._

* * *

I paced down the corridor after the lesson, not wondering if I should feel betrayed or just lonely. What right did I have to feel betrayed? When did I ever not feel lonely?

I kept to the sides, near the lockers, where shoves would make me travel less far. I wasn't in the mood to be bullied. Not now. Not ever, but especially not now. I didn't know a lot about Rachel Berry. I knew she was a Barbra Streisand worshiper and wanted to star in a Broadway show. I also knew that she'd stolen away from me the only person who knew my deepest secret, the only person who could tell who I was within an hour of knowing me. But that hour was now turning into hours, and I was started to feel like I was being avoided.

I entered the canteen. Most people had finished getting their food now. I considered it safe to stand in line for mine.

I found the emptiest table, the furthest away from everything else that was happening in the room. It was lonely, but that was what I was used to at lunchtimes when Finn played football. Why should today feel any different?

I pushed the slimy spaghetti around my plate. It felt different because for once I actually had someone else.

I got a book out from my bag. War and Peace. I had almost finished it, the Harry Potter bookmark sitting about two thirds of the way through. I pushed my tray away and read until my band vibrated for end of lunch.

I pondered, as I returned my book to my bag, what would have happened if I'd said yes to Kurt before he'd left that classroom. I wondered if he'd've been happy to keep us a secret until I was ready to come out or if we would have walked down corridors hand in hand. I speculated about the reactions of the McKinley society.

I let out a tear at the thought that I'd never be able to hear him say "I love you."


	22. Chapter 22

**Previously**

_I pondered, as I returned my book to my bag, what would have happened if I'd said yes to Kurt before he'd left that classroom. I wondered if he'd've been happy to keep us a secret until I was ready to come out or if we would have walked down corridors hand in hand. I speculated about the reactions of the McKinley society._

_I let out a tear at the thought that I'd never be able to hear him say "I love you."_

* * *

Afternoon lessons went by in a blur. By the time I was waiting outside for mum to pick me up, I realised that I had no idea what subject the lessons had been, and had even less idea about what I'd supposedly been taught. I sighed and ran a hand through my curls. This morning, they had been tightly gelled. By the end of the day they always sprang loose.

I watched as mum's car pulled into the car park and jogged up to the door. I got in and buckled up before anything else could happen, like getting hit by a football from the sophomore's game, or being ignored by Kurt again.

_"Are you okay?"_

I blinked. Usually I tried my best to hide how bitterly unhappy I was from my mum. Her rich, brunette hair had long since been streaked with sorrowful strands of grey and I hated for her to worry more. Today I was obviously more miserable than usual. But I couldn't let her know. _"Fine."_ I had to sign back to her, not trusting my voice enough to continue the lie. _"Can we have the radio on?"_

She nodded and flicked at the dials. I watched her turn the volume up. _"This okay?"_

I dropped my hand to the speaker by my right thigh. "Classical?"

She smiled and nodded again, pushing the car into gear and driving out of the grounds of the school.

Sometimes, I wanted to be able to drive. I wanted to sit behind the wheel of a car and be able to control where I wanted to go. I wanted to feel the power it gave me, to decide which routes to take and when to slow down. But as soon as I was old enough, mum had told me it was my choice. She told me she'd be happy to pay for my lessons and to take out insurance for me on her car. But she also told me that she'd worry about me. And if there was one thing I could never do, it was worry mum. So I'd declined.

That didn't stop me from thinking about how, if I had my own car, I'd take it out to a wood somewhere, cut the engine and feel myself cry. I'd never be able to hear my sobs.


	23. Chapter 23

**Previously**

_That didn't stop me from thinking about how, if I had my own car, I'd take it out to a wood somewhere, cut the engine and feel myself cry. I'd never be able to hear my sobs._

* * *

When we got home, mum asked me to help her make tea. That's when I knew I'd been really obvious that something was up. She only ever asked me to cook with her when she was worried about me and wanted me with her. I agreed to help, but as she went to get vegetables from the fridge, I hugged her from behind.

I felt her stiffen and then relax in my arms. "I'm alright," I told her. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all." She didn't reply, and just continued leaning back into me. I squeezed her closer. "I even made a new friend today."

She turned around in my arms. She had a warm smile on her face which almost disguised the tear streak which curved from her eye and down her cheek. I wiped it away. _"You did?"_

I nodded. "He's called Kurt. He's Finn's cousin. We're in form together and he's really nice."

She smiled. _"I'm glad."_ I gave her another, quick, hug. _"You don't have to help me cook tea. Not if you don't want to."_

I shook my head. "I want to."

She smiled again and turned to the fridge. She got the ingredients out whilst I looked at the open recipe book. Ratatouille. My favourite.

Ratatouille was a French dish. I had French tomorrow. Kurt was in my French class. I couldn't work out if that made me happy or sad.


	24. Chapter 24

**Previously**

_She smiled again and turned to the fridge. She got the ingredients out whilst I looked at the open recipe book. Ratatouille. My favourite._

_Ratatouille was a French dish. I had French tomorrow. Kurt was in my French class. I couldn't work out if that made me happy or sad._

* * *

My ears rang and I held them, clutching my stomach when it leapt and I lay on my bed, groaning. I felt sick with nerves. But why? I was seeing Kurt tomorrow. That was a good thing, right? I jumped and ran out of my room, down the hall. I stuck my head over the toilet bowl just in time for my insides to empty. Maybe it wasn't just nerves.

I felt feet running down the hallway and then stop behind me. Mum. I groaned again. She appeared over my shoulder and brushed my curls off my forehead gently. She saw that I'd stopped being sick and took my flannel from over the sink, dampening it and cleaning my face with it. I let her, too exhausted to be bothered about her babying me. I shut my eyes and let the cool cloth caress my burning forehead.

After a while, she drew it away, then dried my face with a fluffy white towel. I opened my eyes.

_"Bed."_

I groaned and shook my head. "Mercedes Jones is away. I can't afford to fall behind and miss school."

_"Whatever it is you picked up I don't know, but you're going to bed. I'll get your dad to book tomorrow off work to look after you. After that we'll see. You are not going in tomorrow. Now bed."_

Her eyes told me she wasn't going to be moved. I nodded and stood slowly, accepting her slender arm curling around my waist to help me back to my room. I crawled under the covers and the last thing I remember was her lips gently blessing my forehead.

When I awoke again at midday Tuesday, I was alone in the house. It turned out my dad hadn't managed to get time off. So I'd been abandoned.


	25. Chapter 25

**Previously**

_When I awoke again at midday Tuesday, I was alone in the house. It turned out my dad hadn't managed to get time off. So I'd been abandoned._

* * *

I fell back to sleep again, dreaming of bizarre abstract lands with purple skies and grasses. I slept fitfully until the afternoon when mum returned from work to make me mugs of blackcurrant Lemsip. Someone once told me that if you can taste how foul Lemsip is then you're getting better… I didn't believe that for a minute.

It passed my mind, on an occasion when mum left the room to dampen a flannel or turn the kettle on for a hot water or something like that, that it was possible I'd picked something up from Karofsky. It wasn't impossible, I figured, for him to have passed on something contagious when he spat at me. I shuddered at the idea, but it made a lot of sense. Now that was something else I could blame my bullies for.

There, again. _My_ bullies. I don't know what made them my bullies, as opposed to anybody else's. It wasn't as if I was the only kid at that godforsaken dump that they abused; there were plenty of others. Though, as far as I knew, I was the only one who got their treatment every day.

And as mum returned with a thermometer (_that_ was what she'd been doing) I concluded that that made me feel really rather lonely.

To top it all off, I had a temperature. My ears were still buzzing. That meant that mum had no choice but to leave me to phone for a doctor's appointment.

* * *

**I don't often do A/Ns for GMS, but this is important. Please read it.**

**I feel that I have really started to get somewhere with this story, and have the next few (very exciting) chapters planned out. The road from here on will be a lot more Klaine, although Blaine's deafness and emotional troubles will still be central.**

**Anyway, that wasn't what I was here to talk about. I need to speak to you about a hiatus. I was going to write a blog post, but I know that so few of you follow it (although please do - luspeak. wordpress. com). So. I have exams in five weeks. The big ones. And I am terrified. I have done no revision. None. At all. I'm behind with school work, and with homework, and everything is piling up. As much as I love, no, ****_adore_****, writing this, I understand that if anything has to give, it is my writing. And I know where I am going with this, and with T&C, so it won't be hard to pick up if I leave them.**

**I am not saying this is for definite; so far, this is only a possibilty. Just don't be surprised if you don't get an update some time soon. When that happens, I won't be updating until after my exams (mid June, after my birthday). 2013 will continue for as long as possible; that will be the last thing to go as I can plan around there and don't mind posting a rubbish one. I am not prepared to ruin this story because of exam stress.**

**As I said, please check for updates on my blog, both for this and for T&C, or even just to see how I'm doing. Exam times are always very stressful for me, for reasons which I won't discuss, but I do everything I can to keep the stress down. I'm sorry. Writing always comes first, unless I have the very high possibilty of very poor grades looming.**

**I love you. All of you.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Previously**

_And as mum returned with a thermometer (_that_ was what she'd been doing) I concluded that that made me feel really rather lonely._

_To top it all off, I had a temperature. My ears were still buzzing. That meant that mum had no choice but to leave me to phone for a doctor's appointment._

* * *

When I woke on Wednesday, the first thing I noticed was that my mum wasn't lying on the spare bed. I was glad; she'd worked herself too hard looking after me. The second thing I noticed was that I still felt terrible, and I was about to be sick. Instead of throwing up in the bowl left next to my bed, I decided to make my way to the bathroom. I was halfway out of my room when I noticed the third thing: a suitcase.

Before I could give it any further thought, my stomach churned again and I had to make a dash out of my room, down the corridor and stick my head over the toilet before my insides emptied again. Acid stung my throat, making my eyes water. I hadn't had anything to eat yet, nor drink, so I had nothing left to lose but vile tasting stomach acid.

I sat back, arms resting around the bowl, waiting. I knew I needed to eat, but I felt so ill that I couldn't bring myself too. I knew that if I moved an inch I'd be sick again. I felt tears sting my clammy cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them away. There was no way I'd be in school again before the end of the week. I wouldn't be able to see Kurt again.

I took a gulp of air. Why did I want to see Kurt so much anyway? So, he was the only person who knew my secret. But I'd managed fine so far without anybody knowing. Why was now so different?

I felt another wave of sickness creeping over me. I knew that it wasn't because of whatever I'd caught from Karofsky. I'd only known Kurt for a day. Less than that, really. I couldn't like him that much…? I groaned and threw my head over the toilet again. Why did he leave that classroom? Why did I have to be ill?

I felt someone walk into the bathroom behind me. Mum. I stood up shakily and spat into the sink, washing my mouth out. "I'm fine, mum," I told her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped. I span around, my eyes wide.

It wasn't mum.

* * *

**Teehee! Cliffhanger! Remembering my immanent hiatus, it is possible that you won't find out who it is until June. TEEHEE!  
**


	27. Chapter 27

**My exams are over! That means I am back to uploading regularly. I may take this off twice-weekly uploads for a while though, as I didn't have time to write very much at all over my hiatus (read: I've been too busy working on a new project which has come on so much today).**

**Let's remind ourselves what has happened: Kurt, Finn's cousin, transfers to McKinley. When Kurt asks him out, Blaine freezes, and in that time Kurt panics and leaves the room, taking with him any chance of a good friendship between them. From that moment, Blaine is smitten, and Kurt is ignoring him. The next day, he becomes ill. He's stuck at home and he feels awful.**

**As always, thank you so much for reading my work. It means the world to me. And paddy, to whom this fic is dedicated, thank you.**

* * *

**Previously**

_I took a gulp of air. Why did I want to see Kurt so much anyway? So, he was the only person who knew my secret. But I'd managed fine so far without anybody knowing. Why was now so different?_

_I felt another wave of sickness creeping over me. I knew that it wasn't because of whatever I'd caught from Karofsky. I'd only known Kurt for a day. Less than that, really. I couldn't like him that much…? I groaned and threw my head over the toilet again. Why did he leave that classroom? Why did I have to be ill?_

_I felt someone walk into the bathroom behind me. Mum. I stood up shakily and spat into the sink, washing my mouth out. "I'm fine, mum," I told her._

_I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped. I span around, my eyes wide._

_It wasn't mum._

* * *

"C-Coop?"

My brother barely had time to nod and open his arms before I threw myself at him. He hugged me tightly and I felt tears soak his shirt. I tried to pull away, knowing how he hated when I got upset. He only held me tighter.

I felt his fingers massage my scalp through my loose curls and gave up, feeling myself losing any sense of control. I missed my brother so much. He rarely came down any more, and when he did he didn't stay for long. We'd usually argue at least once in his visit, but for now I just wanted to enjoy the feeling of his arms around me, protecting me and loving me. However much he hated the attention I got, or the care I needed, I knew that he'd do anything for me.

While he held me I felt my worries slipping a bit further away. Everything would be fine with Kurt; I could feel it. I mean, as soon as I got back to school, I was going to get to talk to him. Why worry about it? I could talk to him and tell him my answer and everything would be okay. And it was just a bug I had; it'd pass.

Right now, what I cared most about was the fact that my brother was hugging me close. I knew he'd be whispering calming things, and if I pulled away I'd see his lips moving. But I didn't want to move away. I'd missed my brother so much.

Finally, my crying slowed to a stop as my worries drowned themselves. I felt strong enough to pull away. So I did, and I looked up into his eyes. They were just like mine, but darker. They were also shiny. It looked like he was about to cry. Or had just finished. I didn't like to think of Coop, big strong Coop, crying.

"How come you're here?"

* * *

**No, Demi, it wasn't Kurt :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**So, paddyofurniture is seeing someone tomorrow. Am I jealous? Duh. And I excited for her? You bet I am!**

* * *

**Previously**

_Finally, my crying slowed to a stop as my worries drowned themselves. I felt strong enough to pull away. So I did, and I looked up into his eyes. They were just like mine, but darker. They were also shiny. It looked like he was about to cry. Or had just finished. I didn't like to think of Coop, big strong Coop, crying._

_"How come you're here?"_

* * *

Cooper dropped his arms from around me. I hadn't realised that he was still hugging me, but I instantly missed the warmth. _"Am I not allowed to come and see my little Yellow any more?"_

I rolled my eyes with a rare smile on my face. Yellow. He hadn't called me that in years. He'd come up with the name a few weeks after I'd turned deaf. I remember seeing him leap off his chair while sitting at our computer. I'd asked him what he'd found, and he replied with the sign for "_yellow_". Being new to Sign, he had to write out his explanation. I still had that worn sheet of paper.

_Your name means yellow, which is cool by itself, Blainey. And I can't really sign out B-L-A-I-N-E every time I want to say your name. And the sign for yellow is so cool, right?_

I remember that I had stood from my bed after reading his note. He was still doing the sign, turning his wrist and grinning, pleased with himself. I'd embraced him and, after a couple of seconds of the initial shock, he hugged back. That was still one of the best hugs of my life.

After everything that had happened with my dad, the name had slipped. He rarely addressed me by my name at all anymore, and when it was it was never the nickname. He usually took his time in spelling out each letter, one by one. It meant so much that he was back to using Yellow again.

Even if it did mean that he was avoiding the question.

_"Go back to bed. I'll get you a glass of water."_

I hugged him before I stepped past him, smiling on my way back to bed.


	29. Chapter 29

**I met Chris Colfer on Sunday. That is all.**

* * *

**Previously**

_After everything that had happened with my dad, the name had slipped. Cooper rarely addressed me by my name at all anymore, and when it was it was never the nickname. He usually took his time in spelling out each letter, one by one. It meant so much that he was back to using Yellow again._

_Even if it did mean that he was avoiding the question._

"Go back to bed. I'll get you a glass of water."

_I hugged him before I stepped past him, smiling on my way back to bed._

* * *

Having Coop back was better than I could have imagined. He took care of me, bringing me meals and drinks, sitting on his bed answering emails on his laptop whilst I slept and sitting on my bed brushing my sweaty hair off my forehead when I was awake.

Because he was always there, mum was able to get on with what she needed to do. I saw less of her, but I knew that she was worrying about me less, and I was glad of that. I had always caused her enough stress, and that was something that I always hated. When I was younger, I always dreamed of getting rich and having enough money to take her to California, maybe even buying a house there for her, so she could relax in her retirement. As I grew older I grew up, and that fairytale land crumbled. I had no idea what I wanted to do in order to earn my millions.

On Thursday, as I woke up I felt a weight sitting behind me on the bed, a hand on my shoulder. I snuffled into my pillow, presuming it was Cooper, though his hand felt older, rougher. I woke slowly, not sensing a rush. My head still pounded and my stomach wasn't right, but I was getting better. Hopefully, I could be back at school in the next few days.

I blinked my eyes open and turned on my side a bit to see my brother sitting next to me. I smiled at him, pushing my curls off of my damp forehead before my vision swam into focus. My dad.

I sat up sharply, feeling his hand fall off my shoulder. I instantly regretted it as my stomach spasmed. I clutched at it and my dad sprang into action, grabbing the bowl from the floor and holding it out for me. I couldn't bear it if I disgraced myself like that in front of him. I held my breath and willed my nausea to pass. After several seconds, it did, and the bitter taste in my mouth faded. I dropped my hands and nodded slowly to my dad, letting him know it was okay for him to put the bowl down.

He did, and then brought his hands up, trying to speak to me. "_How well feeling you?_"

I smiled softly. Unlike mum, my dad had never tried as hard to learn how to speak to me. I leant over and opened my bedside drawer, pulling out a worn notebook and a new pen, handing it to him before replying, "I feel a bit better, but still not well." I looked at Cooper's bed to see it made. I pointed. "Where is he?"

My dad scribbled away on a page in the notebook before turning it around.

_He's downstairs. I offered to take over for a while. Your mother has gone shopping to buy you some more medicine. Would you like anything?_

I read what he'd written and then did a universally known sign; I shook my head.

_Well I shall let you rest, then. And get better. :)_

He added a wobbly smiley face to the end of his last message, like an uncertain afterthought, but it made me smile. He was trying. "Thank you," I whispered before letting my eyes drop closed again.

I felt him stand from the bed and then a hand running through my loose curls before footsteps made their way out of my room. I felt them stop by the door, and if I opened my eyes I was certain that I'd find him there, watching me, trying to make amends. Maybe all wasn't lost after all.


	30. Chapter 30

**Previously**

Well I shall let you rest, then. And get better. :)

_My dad added a wobbly smiley face to the end of his last message, like an uncertain afterthought, but it made me smile. He was trying. "Thank you," I whispered before letting my eyes drop closed again._

_I felt him stand from the bed and then a hand running through my loose curls before footsteps made their way out of my room. I felt them stop by the door, and if I opened my eyes I was certain that I'd find him there, watching me, trying to make amends. Maybe all wasn't lost after all._

* * *

The doctors forbade me from going back to school. As expected. By Thursday afternoon I was well enough to use Coop's laptop to check my emails for work forwarded from school, and spent a good few minutes completing it. I may be deaf, but I'm not stupid.

My emails from Mr Cavern informed me that we'd started work on an English poet called Philip Larkin. I spent the rest of my afternoon typing his name into Google. After 'Mr Bleaney', I really wished I hadn't. I topped up my ASL vocabulary with words like '_identity_', '_onlooker_' and '_depressing_'. Trust Mr Cavern to pick such a cheery poet for us to study. I then learnt the words again in LSF because I had run out of work and I was bored silly.

_"Are you okay, B? Want anything?"_

I shook my head at mum before stopping and nodding instead. "Can I have some water please?"

She smiled at me. _"Yes."_

"And is there a book downstairs that I can read?"

_"I'll check."_ She disappeared again, returning a few minutes later with Anna Karenina and a glass of water. Leo Tolstoy. I had finished War And Peace on Monday evening. It's amazing how quickly you learn to read when you can't hear. I thanked her, trying to ignore her hovering in my doorway as she left, a worried look upon her face.

Fingers crossed I'd be back at school soon. I blinked. Fingers crossed I'd get to talk to Kurt...


	31. Chapter 31

**Includes a higher rated topic.**

* * *

**Previously**

_"And is there a book downstairs that I can read?"_

"I'll check."_ She disappeared again, returning a few minutes later with Anna Karenina and a glass of water. Leo Tolstoy. I had finished War And Peace on Monday evening. It's amazing how quickly you learn to read when you can't hear. I thanked her, trying to ignore her hovering in my doorway as she left, a worried look upon her face._

_Fingers crossed I'd be back at school soon. I blinked. Fingers crossed I'd get to talk to Kurt..._

* * *

I woke on Friday feeling slightly queasy again. My dad came in to check on me, and I gave him the best smile I could. He tried, but quickly left the room. I thought he was fetching mum, but Cooper appeared instead with a cold flannel and a fresh bucket.

He placed it on my bed. _"If you're going to be sick, B, use that."_

I nodded. _"Thank you,"_ I signed back, too afraid that if I tried to talk, I'd start being sick.

My brother sat on my bed as I clutched the bucket to my stomach. He put a hand on my head, brushing off my curls. I hadn't washed in days and I felt filthy. As he raised the flannel to my face, I pushed it softly away. "I think I'm going to take a shower. Clean up a bit."

Cooper nodded and stood again. He reached out a hand for the bucket and I passed it to him. He folded my covers back and I smiled at the intimate gesture, half out of bed when he appeared at my side to hold my waist and make sure I didn't fall on my way to the shower. I was just about to push him off and tell him I didn't need babying when I felt my legs give way.

But I didn't hit the floor. Instead, his strong arms encircled me and he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. On the way, I felt his chest vibrating and looked up to see him saying something; he must have been calling to mum.

We made it to the bathroom and he sat me on the edge of the bathtub. Then he closed the door. With him on the inside. I swallowed.

"I'm fine now, Coop. Honestly, you can go."

He turned to me and frowned with a kind of half smile. _"Yellow, you just almost collapsed. I'm not leaving you alone. Besides, I'm your brother; it's not like I haven't seen it all before."_

My face coloured and I had to look down. Yes, he was really doing this. It passed my mind briefly that he wouldn't do this if he knew I was gay.

But he wasn't going to leave. And that much was made clear when he did a sign I had learnt one day when I was exceptionally bored and unusually horny.

_"Strip."_


	32. Chapter 32

**Previously**

_My face coloured and I had to look down. Yes, he was really doing this. It passed my mind briefly that he wouldn't do this if he knew I was gay._

_But he wasn't going to leave. And that much was made clear when he did a sign I had learnt one day when I was exceptionally bored and unusually horny._

"Strip."

* * *

I blinked at him. He wasn't going to let this go. If I didn't undress now, he'd know there was something up. He would know that I was gay and he'd tell mum and my dad and they'd throw me out because, really, who wants a kid who is both deaf and gay? So I just swallowed as I pulled my pyjama top over my head. The first guy I was going to be fully naked in front of was my brother. How romantic. I just knew he wouldn't turn around.

Knowing that there was no way out of this, I hooked my thumbs under my pyjama pants and tugged them down. Now everything was on show. And... why was Coop studying my body like that?

"C-Coop?"

"Where are the bruises?"

He spoke rather than signed, so it took me a while for my eyes to catch up with my understanding as I quickly lip-read him. But when I did catch what he'd said, it took me completely by surprise.

"Excuse me?"

He raised his hands and signed quickly. _"I was bullied too, Yellow. I can see it in you. I hid it from everyone because I was scared. I won't let you go through that too. So show me the bruises."_

I swallowed back a lump which had formed in my throat and turned around so that he could see my back and the scratches upon it.

And when I finally stepped into the warm bath, he washed me and took care of me and I had never felt so protected.


	33. A Note

Hello.

Not a Thursday, I know, but I have to say this tonight.

The story of Give Me Strength has progressed rather slowly so far. This was all headed for change in the next chapter, when Blaine thinks properly about Kurt again. The catalyst? His best friend coming to talk to him. I am sure you won't have to cast your mind back too far to remember the lovable giant who is Blaine's only friend, and cousin to Kurt. Finn.

To any who don't know, I am sorry, but I am about to crush your innocence. Cory Monteith died yesterday, 13th July. We shall still hear him playing the drums whenever there's a thunder storm, and he remains in the heart of every member of the Glee fandom (and in many outside of it). He just won't be gracing any more scenes with the power of his smile.

So, this brings me to the future of GMS. I shall not be changing anything about the plot. Planned events will still go ahead. I hope. There is a chance that it'll be too much, and if that is indeed the case then I shall leave you another note and either continue the story without Finn, or stop writing altogether. However, I would love to keep Finn alive through fanfiction. Whatever RIB do to his character, he shall always be alive through this medium, and rightfully so. When Klaine broke up, ff kept them together. On this much more serious note, we don't have a choice but to do the same.

If any of you feel that you'd be uncomfortable in reading a story where the character of Finn continues, then please feel free to stop reading. I would probably do the same. I hope you understand, however, my reasons to continue.

Lastly, I know how fragile this fandom is. I know how many of us are depressed or are bullied and god knows what else. I leave this last note as a request. This has hit us all. We can carry on. Together. You are not alone, even now, especially now. If you ever feel like you've found your end, then please, message me. Do it however you want. I have a twitter you can tweet or DM, I accept reviews on here, I have my PM box always open, I have my blog for you to do what you will to. But talk to me, or anyone else. Don't go through this alone. Because you're not.

Thank you.


	34. Chapter 34

**I am so sorry for last week. It was not a good day for me. I promise I shall make it up. I am so, so sorry.**

* * *

**Previously**

_Cooper raised his hands and signed quickly. _"I was bullied too, Yellow. I can see it in you. I hid it from everyone because I was scared. I won't let you go through that too. So show me the bruises."

_I swallowed back a lump which had formed in my throat and turned around so that he could see my back and the scratches upon it._

_And when I finally stepped into the warm bath, he washed me and took care of me and I had never felt so protected._

* * *

I felt a lot calmer after my bath. Sure, I usually showered instead, but I had forgotten just how relaxing a bath could be. And Coop... he was brilliant. My nervousness soon dissipated and I just relaxed into the water. Bubbles soon covered my modesty, and he did turn around as I climbed out.

He helped me back to my room, though my legs were a lot stronger now, and made sure I was settled before he left again, returning after a few minutes with a mug of boiling hot coffee. I smiled and thanked him.

He lay on his old bed and did something on his laptop whilst I returned to Anna. I have already a hefty way through her, even though I had only started the previous evening. I was a fast reader. I suppose I had had to learn to skim read very quickly, being as I couldn't hear. It did mean, however, that I couldn't appreciate the language as I knew I'd like to. I wished that I could just slow down and immerse myself in the language and learn to read more slowly again.

Cooper stood, folding the lid of his laptop closed. I glanced up as he left the room, but then returned my eyes to the text in front of me. I felt great having him near, and though it felt unusual that we hadn't fallen out yet since his stay began, it was certainly welcome. I marked my place in the book with my _Expecto Patronum_ bookmark. Because Harry Potter is awesome. Blaine thought, as he placed the book down on his bedside table and stood in order to stretch his back, that his own Patronus would probably be a dolphin; they communicate in a series of clicks and whistles, not understanding 'traditional' sound. Plus, before I went deaf, I used to love going swimming. Since, I haven't really been to the pool that much. It was another thing that died with my ability to hear.

I was about to pick my book up again, now sitting down on the covers, Cooper having picked out some clothes from my wardrobe that I hadn't worn for a long time, when my brother poked his head around my bedroom door, hands ready to talk.

I picked my book up as I shuffled around, making myself comfy and propping my pillow up. "Mm?" I hummed.

_"F-I-N-N is here. Can he come up?"_

I blinked in surprise. "Oh. Sure." I put Anna down again as Coop disappeared to fetch Finn.


	35. Chapter 35

**Told you I'd make it up to you. Double upload! (Still sorry)**

* * *

**Previously**

"F-I-N-N is here. Can he come up?"

_I blinked in surprise. "Oh. Sure." I put Anna down again as Coop disappeared to fetch Finn._

* * *

About half a minute later, my best friend poked his head around my door. "Hi," I offered.

He smiled and waved, looking about the room and deciding upon the bed to sit on, throwing what looked like a thank you over his shoulder as my door shut. He sat on my brother's bed. _"How are you feeling?"_

I attempted a smile. "Okay. Better. Still not great. Um, it's quiet in here. You can... talk... if you want? So long as you don't mind me staring at your lips to read what I don't hear."

Finn smiled sheepishly and slowly dropped his hands. "You sure?"

I smiled back. "I'm sure."

He looked a little surprised that I had replied so easily, but replied none the less. "So... What have you been doing?"

"Sitting. Sleeping. Reading." I picked up Anna Karenina. "I've started this."

Finn looked at it and his eyes widened. "Dude. That's, like, really thick."

I shrugged. "It's not that bad. I'm a fast reader."

"But it's like... _really_ thick."

I just had to smile more. It wasn't often that I was reminded what Finn was really like, but when I did, I loved it.

"It is," I finally agreed.

He sat, twisting his thumbs on Cooper's bed, watching them as if they were fascinating. It was painful to watch, as if he was uncomfortable being here. I didn't like it.

"How is Kurt settling in?" I asked, swearing mentally when I realised that I had just asked about the boy who had been living in my head since I met him.

Finn must have noticed too, because he looked up with his eyes sparkling. "You mean Eyes?" The sparkle faded and he looked back at his hands. "Yeah, he's good. Karofsky's lot haven't taken too nicely to him, but, you know, he's here. It's better than being alone in DC. He said he wishes you get better soon."

My heart stopped beating for a second. Had I heard and read that right? No, I can't have... "He... he did?"

Finn looked up. "Um, I don't know? Sure. Why not?"

I felt my insides collapse on themselves. "Nevermind," I mumbled.


	36. Chapter 36

**And I do believe we are back to the twice-weekly updates. This is again a sorry for missing last week. Now, I cannot promise this every week; sometimes you will just get the Thursday. But let's see how we go. Thank you for reading.**

* * *

**Previously**

_Finn must have noticed too, because he looked up with his eyes sparkling. "You mean Eyes?" The sparkle faded and he looked back at his hands. "Yeah, he's good. Karofsky's lot haven't taken too nicely to him, but, you know, he's here. It's better than being alone in DC. He said he wishes you get better soon."_

_My heart stopped beating for a second. Had I heard and read that right? No, I can't have... "He... he did?"_

_Finn looked up. "Um, I don't know? Sure. Why not?"_

_I felt my insides collapse on themselves. "Nevermind," I mumbled._

* * *

I waited until Finn had gone to hide my face under my pillow and cry. Kurt hadn't said those things. Kurt didn't care. He didn't care if I was okay and he didn't care if I ever replied to him and he just didn't _care_. Full stop. How could I ever have been so stupid as to think that maybe we could be something, maybe we could be together. Stupid. Stupid stupid. I wasn't even out. Why would he have liked me? Stupid _stupid_ stupid.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched, throwing the pillow off my head. I looked straight at Cooper, my gaze still obscured by falling and smudged tears.

"What?" I roared. He looked taken aback, and I used that to my advantage. "What are you staring at? Just go, Cooper. Go! I don't need you. All you do is sit there. Why don't you leave, huh? Why don't you leave like you've left before. Don't pity me. Don't you dare."

Hot tears tumbled down my cheeks. Now, I was angry. What right did my 'brother' think he had in coming back? He was no brother of mine. He had left as soon as he could, and why? Because of me. Because I was too much of a hassle for him and because he couldn't bring girls back to his room and because he'd fallen out with dad due to sticking up for me and because I was never good enough. Because of all that.

"Get out," I spoke, keeping my voice level. I lay back down calmly, turning my back on him. He got up and walked away. I felt my bedroom door shut behind him.


	37. Chapter 37

**Previously**

_Hot tears tumbled down my cheeks. Now, I was angry. What right did my 'brother' think he had in coming back? He was no brother of mine. He had left as soon as he could, and why? Because of me. Because I was too much of a hassle for him and because he couldn't bring girls back to his room and because he'd fallen out with dad due to sticking up for me and because I was never good enough. Because of all that._

_"Get out," I spoke, keeping my voice level. I lay back down calmly, turning my back on him. He got up and walked away. I felt my bedroom door shut behind him._

* * *

Cooper didn't try to come back. At what must have been about eight o'clock mum came in and tried to talk to me. She left soon after, leaving me a bacon sandwich which was still on my bedside table come morning. My body ached and my stomach couldn't settle, but the biggest pain was in my head. Words didn't stop shouting at me. Words which remained as an echo from my childhood, and words from the last week. Words that I imagined Kurt speaking from the notebook we had shared for such a short time.

The notebook stayed in my bag. My fingers itched to read it when I woke with stiff cheeks on Saturday. But I didn't. I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

At midday mum tried to get me to talk again. She said a few things in sign but I looked away, ignoring her. Kurt didn't care about me. I needed to understand that. But for some reason my brain kept reminding me of the way our hands had fitted so beautifully together, his cursive penmanship, the way how, when he smiled, his cheeks dimpled and I just wanted to kiss them.

And all of that was precisely why I slept through Saturday. At nearly midnight, when I thought that everyone had gone to bed and once again there was no sign of Cooper, I got up quietly. I had no idea how much noise I was making as I opened my bedroom door cautiously. The sandwich that had been left the previous night had been taken away, and now I wanted something to eat. I needed anything to take my mind from Kurt.

I climbed off the final step and was on my way to the kitchen when I caught something moving in the corner of my vision. I jumped and span around. Just in time to see my dad with a handful of papers, his eyes on me.


	38. Chapter 38

**Yay, another Sunday upload!**

* * *

**Previously**

_At nearly midnight, when I thought that everyone had gone to bed and once again there was no sign of Cooper, I got up quietly. I had no idea how much noise I was making as I opened my bedroom door cautiously. The sandwich that had been left the previous night had been taken away, and now I wanted something to eat. I needed anything to take my mind from Kurt._

_I climbed off the final step and was on my way to the kitchen when I caught something moving in the corner of my vision. I jumped and span around. Just in time to see my dad with a handful of papers, his eyes on me._

* * *

He tucked the papers under his arm. _"What are you doing up?"_

I shrugged. _"Hungry."_

He nodded at me slowly, eyes watching me in the dark. I was just about to ignore him and continue on my way into the kitchen when he spoke again. _"Want me to make you something?"_

I shook my head. _"No."_ I pointed to the documents he'd pinned under his forearm. "Anything interesting?"

_"No. Just bills and stuff. Go on, you go get some food. If you go to bed after, I won't tell anyone."_

I merely nodded at him gratefully before taking another few steps and entering the kitchen. The fridge called to me as I stepped towards it, opening the door. The room flooded with light and I had to wince against the brightness suddenly invading my vision. After a few seconds, I got accustomed to it and could open up my eyes and see more clearly again.

There was some meat on one of the shelves: a bit of bacon, a few sausages. I considered making myself a new bacon sandwich, but that didn't really appeal. A slice of a pie or quiche or something on the shelf below, however, did. I took the plate out and closed the fridge door again. Hopefully they weren't saving it for anything. I put it down on the counter as I got a tumbler and filled it with water, then took both the plate and the glass upstairs.

I didn't see my dad again. Nor did I see mum. I had no idea where Cooper had disappeared to. I shut the door behind me and saw Cooper's laptop by his bed. I paused, then put my food down next to Anna Karenina as I took it and opened the lid. He wouldn't mind if I used it to surf the net or something whilst I ate. I typed 'password' into the password box. Not that my brother was predictable or anything. But before I could load up internet explorer, an email notification popped up.

And I just stared at it.


	39. Chapter 39

**Previously**

_I didn't see my dad again. Nor did I see mum. I had no idea where Cooper had disappeared to. I shut the door behind me and saw Cooper's laptop by his bed. I paused, then put my food down next to Anna Karenina as I took it and opened the lid. He wouldn't mind if I used it to surf the net or something whilst I ate. I typed 'password' into the password box. Not that my brother was predictable or anything. But before I could load up internet explorer, an email notification popped up._

_And I just stared at it._

* * *

The longer I stared at the screen, the less the words made sense, and the more everything else did. Even when the words faded, I stared at where they had been. I felt sick again, and it wasn't anything to do with my illness. Was it true? Oh, of course it was! How could I have been so stupid as to think it was anything else?

Had I truly believed that Cooper had come back to help me? Because he knew I was ill and he wanted to make up for the years of treating me exactly as my dad did? No. God, how could I have been such an idiot? He didn't put his life on hold to come and make sure I was okay! His life put itself on hold and he came back to try to get it to start again.

Before I could stop myself, I clicked open his emails to reread what I'd just seen.

_Hey, bud!_

_So, I heard you got sacked. Again. Well done, mate! How many jobs is that you've screwed up now?_

_I've heard you're back in good old Ohio. Hey, maybe you'll have better luck there in trying to find and hold down a decent job. If you're living with that drag of a brother of yours then maybe we could go out at some point like we used to? It'll do you good to escape from him for a while, yeah?_

_And what's this I hear about your old man looking to find some work for you? Bro, you're more far gone than I thought! What's say we meet up and you can regale me in more of those hilarious stories you tell me. Ha! Thanks for always making me feel better about my own failings._

_Ash_


	40. Chapter 40

**Previously**

_Blaine finds an email from one of Cooper's friends on his laptop..._

I've heard you're back in good old Ohio. Hey, maybe you'll have better luck there in trying to find and hold down a decent job. If you're living with that drag of a brother of yours then maybe we could go out at some point like we used to? It'll do you good to escape from him for a while, yeah?

And what's this I hear about your old man looking to find some work for you? Bro, you're more far gone than I thought! What's say we meet up and you can regale me in more of those hilarious stories you tell me. Ha! Thanks for always making me feel better about my own failings.

Ash

* * *

I slept all day Sunday. I didn't want to see anyone. When I was alone, I lay awake and stared at the ceiling. When mum came in I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. When my dad came in I curled my body up and turned away from the door. Cooper didn't come in.

The laptop sat on Cooper's bed. Well, on the spare bed in my room. He used it when he needed it. He hadn't used it because he loved me, or because he wanted to come back and apologise after all these years. No.

No, Cooper had lied to me. And the fact that this Ash...

I turned on my front and buried my face into my pillow. I had thought we were finally working things out. We had gotten on well when I was very young. But as Cooper became a teenager he became colder to me. Then he left home as quickly as he could. He'd left because he couldn't cope with me. And he'd come back, pretending to care.

My brain followed this track the whole day, and as night fell I decided not to pick up his computer again. I didn't want to see if he had replied via the mail app on his phone. Not knowing was so much better. If he thought that: fine. I had other people. Like Finn. And... okay, I had Finn.

Come Monday morning, I was more than ready to return to school. But as I got up, mum came in.

_"You're not well enough. Get back in bed."_

I frowned at her. "Why?"

_"You didn't even get up yesterday, B. I am worried about you. Please. One more day."_

And even though I was going crazy, she was my mum. Yes, I wanted to get out of the house. Yes, I wanted to get back to my studies. Yes, I wanted to see Kurt and to sort out our mess. But I loved my mum. And so I went back to bed.


End file.
